My life - from the impact of great loss, to a refreshing new take on life and a place where I now share ............... my favorite Plant Strong recipes....

Monday, October 4, 2010

New Every Morning

So there I am this morning, sitting on this perfect bench. Enjoying the serenity of the crisp fall morning. The geese had spent some time diving for breakfast, and now had moved over to more shallow ground. The fish have begun their breakfast as well, and I watch as several leap out of the air, only to fall back making a most delightful splash. Some are close enough that it seems I can hear the slap as their bodies hit the water. It makes me wish Jeff were sitting here with me, since he is the mighty fisherman and all.

I hadn’t been out of the house much last week due to ‘the crud’, but this morning I had to be up early, not only to get my Monkey to school and prepped for school pictures, but to be at the school to have my picture taken. You see, I get a fancy volunteer badge to wear on the days I go in to help in her class. Monkey is especially excited about this ‘offiical identity’ I will have, and she hopes that I get the gray background like she chose to have for her pictures this year. She makes me giggle. (Side note: So how come we didn’t ever get to chose colors and backgrounds for our pictures?)

So having had cabin fever the last several days made this morning especially nice. I had expected rain, so to have sunshine was a sweet treat, and it was my intention to soak up as much of it as I could.

The park was quiet except for the wildlife. It was perfect. I sat there praising and thanking the Lord for my family. As I’m thinking about Jeff, I get a sweet text from him. Have I mentioned that the Lord’s timing is perfect?

After having sat there for a while, I reluctantly got up to head home, mentally motivating myself with my to do list. Yes, I have simplified things, but I still have lists with much to do, lol.

I start walking down the path, and am approached by this sweet old looking dog named Ernie. I notice that Ernie only has 3 legs. Poor old fella. Ernie’s person isn’t far behind with 4 more rescue dogs circling around her, one even being pulled in a wagon because he was abused and can’t walk much. As I’m petting Ernie’s head, it’s then that I learn that Ernie had lost his back left leg to bone cancer 6 months ago and it has now spread to his lungs. Ernie is 12.

The similarities (yes, I realize Ernie is a dog…) hit me like a brick, and I am flooded with memories and emotions of my Chelsea Rae. Left leg (she was going to have her femur removed), spread to lungs, 13 years old.

And he looks up with me with those sweet, big brown eyes.

“Really?” (insert sarcastic tone here)

No, I didn’t say it out loud, that’s the only word that describes my mindset. Did I mention that I was hit by a brick? Yeah… make that a ton of bricks.

Did I mention that God’s timing is perfect?? Yeah, so maybe not sometimes.

Okay, maybe I don’t always ‘feel’ like His timing is perfect…. But His timing really is perfect. Trusting in that truth, I surrender. I decide not to step back up on my pity pot, but instead, I brace myself for what’s to come.

My agenda for the day has come to a screeching halt. Oh, I will still get some things done, but my mental state will be focussed on so much more. It has slowed me down, but that’s a good thing. As I dig into His word I will be refreshed. Already, from a simple facebook update, I have been encouraged and loved, and the simple compassion that others have towards me brings me to tears. There is nothing quite as rewarding as being genuinely, unconditionally loved.

And if  they ’love me that much – then how much more does my heavenly Father love me?

Enough to send His one and only Son on my behalf. He knows and understands my pain even more than I do. I am thankful that I have the peace that only He can bring.

And I will continue to praise Him.
"Great is Thy faithfulness," O God my Father,

There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not
As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.
 "Great is Thy faithfulness!" "Great is Thy faithfulness!"
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
"Great is Thy faithfulness," Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above,
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!
       ~Thomas O. Chisholm (1866-1960)


Lori said...

A beautiful post my friend. It's amazing what kind of reminders God sends to us. I like to think every so often, when the mood strikes, our girls nudge God to send us a hug. That sweet doggie must have been a hug from your angel. I pray that those moments bring you joy despite the pain.

Diann Hunt said...

What a lovely post. Thank you for sharing such beauty in the midst of your pain. God bless you.